Hardcore

By Jimmy Squarejaw

I like to mix this site up with all kinds of forays into the madness of extreme cinema.  This particular movie we’ll file under that heading and the purpose of me discussing it is to shed a historical light of how the subject of Snuff has been used in cinema over the past few decades.  The most recent major motion picture flicks I can recall covering the subject of Snuff has been 8 MM, the Master’s of Horror episode CIGARETTE BURNS, and the terrible mundane mess known as SINISTER.  Back in 1979 Paul Schrader, who also penned Martin Scorsese’s TAXI DRIVER, released HARDCORE that exposed the seedy underbelly of the porn industry in the 70’s and even threw in a Snuff element to capitalize on the growing concern amongst society ever since the rumor began that the Manson Family had filmed their exploits.  HARDCORE was very tame by today’s standards, and in my opinion did not strike the same poignant chord as TAXI DRIVER but it did succeed in giving America a glimpse into an aspect of society that I’m sure not too many people knew about in the 70’s.  Hell, most of America were still figuring out you could move around to different positions in the sack.

HARDCORE opens in snowy Grand Rapids, Michigan around Christmas.  We meet Jake Van Dorn, played by George C. Scott, and get a glimpse into beautiful American living complete with singing, church, and other shit that looks like it fell out of a Norman Rockwell painting.  Mr. Van Dorn, a widower, sends his daughter Kristen off on a church field trip to California and all seems right in the world.  Eventually Mr. Van Dorn is contacted by the church folks to let him know that his daughter went missing so he heads down to California to get to the bottom of this tomfoolery. The story goes, Kristen and her friend were at a theme park hanging out with some bithin’ California studs and they all just took off leaving her more attractive friend alone.  The good news is there were no signs of fowl play like blood, semen piles, or heaping mounds of uterus stew sprayed across the theme park so the cops offer the advice to contact a private investigator.  That is after the cops play the “hey pal we got real problems and look at all these missing chicks already” card.  Fuckin’ cops.   

Mr. Van Dorn hires Private Investigator Andy Mast, played by Peter “Young Frankenstein” Boyle, for $750 a week.  Back in 1979 that equates to about $250,000 a week for any economics fans out there keeping tabs.  Mast is the A-typical private investigator and naturally Mr. Van Dorn, the devout middle class American from the mid-west, and him do not get along from the get go.  Amazingly enough, and I’m still scratching my head over this, Mast turns up in Grand Rapids with an 8 MM film and insists Mr. Van Dorn meets him at an adult theater to discuss the details.   Mr. Van Dorn shows up and sits through a film where his very skinny and unattractive daughter gets double teamed by two eager, skinny, white dudes-one of which looks like Edgar Winter if he wasn’t an albino.  Oh California, taking in our ugly soulless masses and providing jobs for them.  Mast all but says there is no way of tracking this kind of movie to anyone because next week it’ll have a new name and the week after that it’ll have a new name etc etc.  I don’t know much about anything, but I figure if you go back to where he got the film and do some type of detecting that might at least be a start?  And how did he just find this film in a slew of 1000’s of films anyway?   

After getting the run around from Mast and the police department Mr. Van Dorn heads to California to start trying to get info himself from porn shop workers (with a cameo by the awesome Tracey Walter), strip clubs, and a type of business called Conversation or Rap Parlors but all roads lead to dead ends. The next best thing is to pose as a porn producer and put ads in the weekly newspapers looking for porn actors.  Sure, a devout Christian who lives in Michigan, works in sales and has absolutely no exposure to the porn industry is going to pose as a porn producer.  Moving on……

Amazingly this does churn out some leads and with the help of a jerk off booth stripper he meets in a jerk off booth, Mr. Van Dorn goes to San Diego on the lead Kristin might be doing some Chupadas in Mexico but find nothing.  Next the unlikely duo gets a tip Kristin might be hanging out with known Snuff connoisseur Ratan, Satan with an R-get it?  Ratan evidently lives in San Francisco, where the Church of Satan was founded-get it?  So booth hooker and Mr. Van Dorn head up, but all of the sudden booth hooker has an issue with divulging the location of Ratan so Mr. Van Dorn beats it out of her!  Yes finally some goddamn action!  Private Investigator Andy Mast pops back into the story and he and Mr. Van Dorn track Ratan for a not very thrilling conclusion.  And may I just say, Kristin is a fucking idiot and has a terrible bullshit excuse about this whole scenario.  Further more the dialogue written for this scene is unbelievably bad but that’s why I’m not paid the big bucks folks.

HARDCORE has an interesting premise, great actors, and gritty cinematography.  But the movie as a whole just failed to hold my interest.  I never had a sense of dread, I never gave a shit about any of the characters, the story just dragged and dragged, and the only intriguing part of the movie was the backstage pass we get as an audience to California’s porn culture in the 70’s.  

Blake and Jimmy’s Extreme-O-Gauge!

Realistic Gore: 0 out of 0, even the snuff scene was blocked.

Rape: 0 out of 0, all parties were consentual.

Animal Death: 0 out of 0

Necrophilia: 0 out of 0

Torture: 0 out of 0

Overall Movie: 2 out of 5, this was boring folks 

P.S. This is Tracey Walter