Junk Films

By Jimmy Squarejaw
www.facebook.com/yallaredead

When FACES OF DEATH was released in 1978, it was originally produced for the death hungry population of Japan by an Italian documentarian who wanted to up the ante a little in the mondo/bizarro/documentary genre.  In the land of the rising sun it was originally titled JUNK, and according to the commentary on the FACES OF DEATH 30^th ANNIVERSARY release it eventually grossed more than STAR WARS at the box office in 1977.  (Why the FUCK do I live in America?)  In the tradition of the JUNK movie series Tsurisaki Kiyotaka, director of OROZCO THE EMBALMER, compiled a collection of his psychotic short films and titled it JUNK FILMS which was released in the states a little while ago by Massacre Video.  Shall we?

JUNK FILMS opens in India (I think) with a few nice shots of an incredibly overcrowded tent town full of cripples, the impoverished, and amputees; it really sets a nice theme of “hey, life can be total shit.”  Scenes from Tsurisaki’s ambulance chasing days follow including first hand aftermath footage of, amongst others: a guy who got into a motor scooter accident and looks like a skin chalupa crammed full of guts, a lady stabbed to death with an eerie ceiling fan lingering above her, and a guy with his head split open displaying a plethora of webbed meninges everywhere.  One scene in this grouping of shorts I particularly like is a scene in an apartment above an alley where a guy has passed away by what seems to be natural causes while surrounded by his family and a lot of confused emergency service crew looking at each other trying figure out how to get this dude out of the apartment two stories up.  Take note kids, a lot of people don’t realize when you die you have to be transported to either a funeral home or morgue before you turn into a heap of jellied human jambalaya hosting a maggot orgy.  So the next time you think about shooting up and jerking off with a bag around your head, don’t fucking do it in your attic unless you weigh 80 pounds!  Moving along.  

One of Tsurisaki’s more elaborate shorts included in JUNK FILMS is of the Vegetarian Festival on Phuket Island, Thailand.  If you haven’t partied at the vegetarian festival you ain’t livin.’  These guys wail the fuck out of themselves on the back with blades until they split open like a hyman being ripped apart by a Los Angeles Laker.  After that stunt they stick guns, bars, and swords through their faces and follow in procession through the city.  I predict in 30 years this shall replace the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and we can all kill ourselves at any point before that happens.  Really, all we are missing is keg stands, twerking, and high fives and we got one hell of a vegetarian party!  But seriously this stuff is fucked up to watch and these people must have balls the size of skulls! Too bad that’s probably the reason smite was delivered to Phuket shortly after these films were shot in the form of a tsunami created by the righteous Pat Robertson and Jesus. 

The last scene in JUNK FILMS drove me fucking crazy and I really wish I didn’t ever have to watch it again.  Taking place in a nicer than nice looking crematorium, a group of Japanese people in their 30’s surrounds an urn containing the cremated remains of their buddy.  Instead of their brain using a two second buffer to restrain some of their idiotic comments, this group of hip folks just spout out the fucking stupidest shit for twenty minutes about death, and dying, and bones, and blah fuckin’ blah fuckin’ blah!  I cannot believe no one has ever pointed out to them how ANNOYING they sound as they try to weigh out life’s ultimate mysteries!  I bet Mr. Cremated Remains committed suicide because listening to these introspective morons for a short amount of time made me want to swallow a bee hive and ask a bear to fuck it out of me!

Other than that scene, I enjoyed JUNK FILMS quite a bit.  Tsurisaki did a good job making every segment interesting; whether it was with editing, camera effects, spooky music, or the subject matter itself, JUNK FILMS stands apart from the otherwise distended corpse known as the death film genre. There are a lot of scenes in this film I didn’t chat about so don’t let my brief synopsis throw you, it’s well worth picking up!

For Purchasing go to 

http://massacrevideo.com/site/shop/junk-films-standard-dvd/

Blake and Jimmy’s Extreme-O-Gauge!

Violence/Gore: 5 out of 5, it’s a death film for real.

Rape: 0 out of 0

Animal Death: 0 out of 0, a nice reprieve from the usual animal massacre in death vids.

Necrophilia: 0 out of 0.

Torture: 0 out of 0, no one is seen tortured but I bet the family of the dead guy in an urn surrounded by his fucking moron friends at the funeral home were slightly tortured listening to those fucking idiots.

Overall Movie: 4 out of 5, very nice, very good, very well!

Men Behind the Sun/Man Behind the Sun

By Jimmy Squarejaw

Japanese Unit 731 is one of those historical atrocities that seem almost too insane to be real.  Reminiscent of the horrifying human experimentation at Auschwitz performed by Joseph Mengele, the crimes against humanity committed at Unit 731 are enough to make you squirm at night and be thankful to not be anywhere near the Pinfang district of Harbin, in the largest Japanese puppet state of Manchukuo during the Sino-Japanese War and World War II.  Whatever the fuck that means but thanks Wikipedia.  There are a few flicks about Unit 731 out there in movie land, the first being T.F. Mous’ Chinese exploitation flick MEN BEHIND THE SUN.

MEN BEHIND THE SUN did not make me tingle when I first popped it in the ol’ DVD player.  The production looked cheap, the dubbing was TERRIBLE (worse than that Martian-faced mutant Nikki Minaj trying to lip-synch live), and the Chinese writing on the screen during different scenes did not have subtitles so I felt like I was missing some possible points of reference or at least in the dark about the locations of scenes. 

The story follows a group of kids who are brought into Unit 731 to train under the Japanese Army.  They are subjected to consistent beating and will breaking by Lt. General Shiro Ishii, as well as other ranking officials that I never found the names for.  We also follow along the story of Lt. General Ishii as he tries to create a new bomb that can spread bubonic plague carrying fleas. After mingling with some naked female servants and getting really pissed he throws a ceramic pot that explodes all over the place inadvertently leading to inspire his “greatest idea.” Lt. General Ishii unveils to his solders the plans for a low temperature ceramic bomb that can spread the fleas without killing them in the process. Hurrah!  

There are plenty of horrific gore scenes in MEN BEHIND THE SUN covering executions, torture, and creepy human science experiments.  Numerous splayed open cadavers that were evidently operated on while still living, it’s called vivisection kids, are displayed throughout the film.  The movie also frequents the dank, hauntingly grim crematory run by a kooky old bastard who’s job consists of carting around bodies and body parts, stacking and propping up cadavers, and of course mass burning of said bodies and parts.  A really terrible scene, and from my understanding quite the controversial scene in it’s day, is the realistic looking autopsy scene on a naked lil’ local mute boy.  During the movie he becomes friends with the Japanese youth army and gets tricked into coming into an operating room full of giggling doctors in surgical garb.  After they strip the kid and bop his dick a few times, all while giggling, they lay him on a table, bop his dick again, and gas him to sleep.  While sleeping the crack pot team of doctors cut the kid open and remove his guts.  I gotta say I’m curious how the special effects were setup because someone did their homework and made this scene realistic.

MEN BEHIND THE SUN is rife with other torture scenes and war crime violence.  One notable scene where the doctors decide to kill a guy with sound decibels leads to his ass prolapsing and blowing out across the chamber floor resembling a creature from John Carpenter’s THING.  For the animal lover, like me, there is a horrible scene where a cat gets thrown into a pen of rats and ripped apart.  I’m not sure how real the carnage was during this scene but the filmmaker’s brings it up a notch in a later scene when the entire room full of rats is set on fire-and this is very real and very hard to watch. There is A LOT of footage of the lil’ creatures scurrying everywhere squeaking with flames roiling off of them!

I would have never thought this flick was as crazy as it was off of my first impression.  After watching it I completely understand why it has such a crazy reputation.  I'm sure there are some historical inaccuracies and I encourage people to look into the real and completely fucking crazy accounts of Unit 731.  Truth really is stranger than fiction, and in this case it's a lot more disturbing.

Blake and Jimmy’s Extreme-O-Gauge!

Gore: 4 out of 5, there’s a lot of fodder for the gore whore.

Rape: 0 out of 0, few close calls but no.

Animal Death: 5 out of 5, I think the cat lived but those poor little rats…….sad!

Necrophilia: 0 out of 0, not here.

Torture: 5 out of 5, this movie is based around the torture of thousands of people.

Overall Movie: 4 out of 5, a unexpectedly good watch.

The Butcher

By Jimmy Squarejaw

When you have Mr. Kim Jong-il living just to the north of you, you would think that might make people of South Korea a little edgy.  I would also like to assume having idiots go up to the Armistice Line to float balloons with Gideon Bibles tied to them over to North Korea would also put the regular people on edge.  Y’know one thing I’ve learned over time is the best way to deal with your resentment for assholes in and around your country is to make exploitation films focusing on completely insane violence and torture.  And that friends is how we arrive at the South Korean pseudo-snuff film, THE BUTCHER.

THE BUTCHER begins in the midst of a kidnapping situation.  Four people are tied up in a corner room of an abandoned chicken farm and are not too thrilled about the heavy cameras taped to the tops of their heads-amongst other unpleasantries.  The movie from here on out rotates between seeing footage from the cameras the captors have and the cameras the captives have taped to their heads.  We get to know the personalities to two of the captors as they mill around anxiously, taunting the captives and exchanging a few common complaints of the job while they wait for “the director.” They have gripes similar to county employees in the United States, “it’s too hot and we need a fan” and “this building smells like shit and we need a new one.”  The Director finally arrives and quickly hops to it, which is great because this movie was starting to lag ass!

The captives get names assigned to them based from their social merit and place in the Director’s film.  Evidently these guys are writers for the idiotic show, Big Bang Theory, because they came up with the clever topical monikers, Fat Fuck, Skin and Bones, and the husband and wife team who they call “hey asshole” and “whore.”  If I had a dollar every time I wanted to call husband and wife teams Hey Asshole and Whore while walking around Best Buy I’d have $24!  As the Director and his assistant starts to prep the captured folks, the husband gets free and runs like hell out of the room screaming…..and by screaming I mean wailing like he was giving birth to a WWF wrestler out of his asshole sideways. Naturally the evil captors get him and drag him into view of “Fat Fuck” about to be brutally murdered by a gigantic Korean in a pig mask and butcher’s apron.  This scene serves as a precursor to the carnage that comes at the hand of a plagiarized South Korean version of Leather Face mixed with the pig mask wearing Farmer Vincent from MOTEL HELL.

The married couple gets brought into the kill room, which could also double as a set for one of the stuff your fat fuckin’ mouth shows on the Food Network.  Everything is covered in thick plastic, there are two chairs facing each other and there is gore and blood everywhere.  Take a clue Guy Fieri!  So the Director starts taunting the husband and does the classic flip a coin to determine if you die quickly gag. The result is if the husband can handle ten minutes at the hand of Pig Headed Korean, both he and his wife can be set free.  Out of all the movies I’ve seen with this similar situation I really thought this time the husband would make it.  Just seemed reasonable.  But no, the husband pusses out and begs Pig Man to stop.  The Director gives the weeping husband one more chance to get free; if he thinks of a creative way for his wife to be killed the Director would let the husband go.  Just like all the classic love stories the husband goes, “fuck yes I want to save my own life and not my bitch wife’s,” and the husband starts lobbing out ideas finally settling with cut her guts out and feed them to her to then remove the bite sized morsel from her open stomach to re-feed her.  The nightmare ensues and the fate of the couple will have to be found out when you watch THE BUTCHER.

The grim atmosphere to THE BUTCHER was the best part of this movie.  It takes place in a dilapidated chicken farm that looks like where 90% of the heroin influenced songs of the mid-90’s were probably written.  The filmmakers did a great job creating a feeling of isolation and hopelessness by showing not one of the evil captors cared when everyone is screaming and chainsaws are blazing. I figure this chicken farm was probably in the middle of nowhere or somewhere that doesn’t mind the noise of people being dismantled.  There isn’t any silver lining or redeeming quality to the film either being reminiscent to FLOWERS OF FLESH & BLOOD in that there is no plot other than people being tortured but the realism of FOF&B is lost on some dramatic dialog and the presence of the Pig Headed Killer in THE BUTCHER.  The only glimpse to any details to the killer’s identity or background is a phone call with one of the Director’s associates in the beginning of the movie where he talks to his Mom about her misplacing her bible somewhere. N’yuk n’yuk n’yuk.  I didn’t think anything was necessarily clever, there are no real plot twists and the main “star” to the snuff film, the Pig Headed Killer, is a blatant rip off as I previously stated.  It was worth a watch, but that’s about it.  To be fair, I'm sure the impact of this movie is lost on someone from America who has seen a lot of this kind of crap though.

Blake and Jimmy’s Extreme-O-Gauge!

Realistic Gore: 3 out of 5, not a lot of gore surprisingly but a few fun little scene.

Rape: 0 out of 0, it was threatened but never delivered.

Animal Death: 0 out of 0

Necrophilia: 0 out of 0

Torture: 4 out of 5, torture is the main focus of the flick.

Overall Movie: 3 out of 5, worth a watch but not groundbreaking by any means.

Death File Red

By Jimmy Squarejaw

Throwing their hat into the “shockumentary” genre, Japan’s DEATH FILE is a 60 minute cliff’s notes on all sorts of horrible shit from around the globe looped together by a straight faced bump on the log who is nothing like the Coroner from FACES OF DEATH, that dapper bastard.  DEATH FILE RED is the first of this series I have watched that from my best guess has parts 1 through 5, part BLACK, and part YELLOW.  My overall perception of RED is that it’s similar to the world wide coverage of MONDO CANE without the sharp humor and with worse music.  Then again, it’s in Japanese so I wouldn’t know if the narrator is funny or not.  A pain I know all to well.  Anywho, onto DEATH FILE RED…..

After a brief introduction by a guy, he walks across a beach and gets into a wood casket that eventually gets engulfed in flames.  I was crossing my fingers that that was real because he was as boring as licking envelopes.  Once the caught on camera footage starts it’s a quick montage of all the scenes we’re about to see set to intense music.  I was intrigued but pissed because now I know the gist of the movie.

The first stop is Tent Town, India.  The camera weaves through the tent camp interviewing different people and capturing different activities that happen in this alleged tent municipality. The footage following this however is of a city completely leveled by some type of destruction.  The tent town folks were setup as aid? Possibly? Regardless, all the footage is aftermath stuff so there is nothing too bad except a skeletal cadaver covered in debris and a few cadaver sniffing dogs scratching at the dirt. 

Now off to Ethiopia, which is evidently a pretty impoverished country with some health issues, had no idea. The cameraman focuses on kids that are practically walking skeletons covered with flies jockeying for position around their mucous membranes a eyes.  This was tough to watch, especially because I don’t want kids and I hate flies.

Next, we take a quick jump through a dirt mound cemetery somewhere in the world where the mortality rate matches the average I.Q. score and then off to Thailand.  In Thailand we visit probably the worst few clips, one of which landed on the cover of the movie.  First a tour of a baby incubator ward ending with a set of twins conjoined at the chest, hopefully these kids have enough cents to stay the hell away from chili cheese fries after 5p.m., imagine the heartburn, they’ll never sleep.  The cover of the movie takes a still from this next clip of a baby that I would say has more than a few problems.  Its eyes are red and bulging out of its head, its mouth looks like a suction cup, and all of its fingers and toes are tiny grey nubs on huge hands and feet.  Then all of the sudden it moves and drinks from a bottle and I shrieked a little.  My god, a glimpse of that in any sex-ed classroom and you’d end the teen baby crisis!  And the parting view from Thailand is a lethargic kid lying on a bed in a shack.  His placid face is quite the fake out from the festering open sore that’s infected his leg so bad it’s the size of a country fair pig.  And that’s it for Thailand. 

There are a few other entertaining scenes that I’ll leave be for those of you who might actually watch it one day.  It is definitely not very shocking by any means compared to some of the other movies out there, so it might be a good recommendation to a sociology or anthropology major you want to get beers and smell butts with.

Blake and Jimmy’s Extreme-O-Gauge!

Realistic Gore: 1 out 5, really nothing too bad.  A pixilated autopsy is the worst for guts and gore.

Rape: 0 out of 0

Animal Death: 0 out of 0, a first for shockumentaries.

Necrophilia: 0 out of 0

Torture: 0 out of 0

Overall Movie: 2 out of 5, watched it once and I'm good. Yawn

Guzoo!

By Jimmy Squarejaw

All kinds of hell awaits a group of bubbly Japanese girls when they enter a building that I’m pretty sure is either a relative’s home or a vacation house.  The version of GUZOO I have is in Japanese and doesn’t have subtitles so I, again, try to do my best to review a movie I can’t understand!  Thankfully GUZOO was a short flick and the plot was about as easy to follow as the instructions on a mailbox.

GUZOO starts with a slow sprawling shot of the disgusting, leaking, undulating skin of a slobbering creature.  After we get a sense that this is an insanely dangerous creature and is absolutely horrible to watch, we then meet the group of bubbly Japanese girls that will no doubt get horribly accosted, raped, absorbed, mutilated or whatever the hell else could possibly happen by the creature we just observed.   They’re out and about on a sunny day having some fun playing a game similar to Go Fish.  Once one of them cheats and wins the game they head off to a nice looking white house that sits on a river.  At the front door a plain looking lady with no emotion greets them and lets them in giving me no clue what anyone’s relationship is to one another.  Once inside the group of girls are shown to a room on the top floor complete with the cutest lil’ beds I’ve ever seen.  Again I stress I can’t understand anything said so I am going on purely images and noises. 

One of the gals looks out the bedroom window while the other girls unpack and her eye catches the pond below, but before she could let the beauty of the pond sink in, a fish that I could only relate to looking like it grew up in radioactive mud lunges out of the pond at her and flies up two floors.  Was this a DREAM?  I don’t know, but she gets a little shaken from whatever happened and takes a stroll through the house to unwind.  Well, aint’ it a shame she walks in front of a mirror that GUZOO happens to be lurking behind and bursts out to lick her face and snarl. After she freaks out the other girls get her to bed than think it’s totally cool if they went on a bike ride while the victim calms down.  The girls split to have a blast  and with the house empty the relaxing girl gets up and wanders in front of the mirror again. GUZOO is waiting and GUZOO freaks this time and lunges out of the mirror, but she doesn’t luck out with a tongue lick, she gets completely ripped apart and eaten by GUZOO.  And here friends, is when this movie takes off!

The rest of the movie is a great, fast paced cavalcade of people being used like sheep-skin prophylactics by a blood thirsty oozing mutant that looks like a sandworm from BEETLEJUICE mixed with a nuclear bedbug.  Although nothing is really ever explained to me, I still enjoyed this flick a lot and I think fans of ABOMINATION and John Carpenter’s THE THING would like this Japanese entry into the creature feature foray. 

Blake and Jimmy’s Extreme-O-Gauge!

Realistic Gore: 4 out of 5, for a low budget they made the most of what they had and it was great!

Rape: 0 out of 0

Animal Death: 0 out of 0

Necrophilia: 0 out of 0

Torture: 2 out of 5, the creature feasts last awhile and the victims are not too fond of that.

Overall Movie: 4 out of 5, great flick.

Tumbling Doll of Flesh

By Jimmy Squarejaw

Now let us take you on an incredible journey, across the Pacific Ocean to Japan, the land of the rising sun.  After watching this movie I think I’ll be calling it the land of the rising FUN because TUMBLING DOLL OF FLESH was just a fun lil’ flick written and directed by kookster Tamakichi Anaru.  So pop open a bag of Cheetos, crack a 2-liter of Mountain Dew, and take this one in.

TUMBLING DOLL OF FLESH, or Niku Daruma in Kanji, is about a couple young ambitious filmmakers wanting to make a new porno.  They find their stars in the likes of a dog faced lady named Kana and a man named Kiku who wears really big white underwear.  They both get interviewed on camera in a "get to know you" fun little session before they’re whisked away to a porn set that looks like an attic apartment I used to live in, minus the Taco Bell and Chewy Chips-A-Hoy wrappers. 

The sexin’ for the time being is standard sexin’ with all of the groin areas pixilated because that’s what they do in Japan. So after staring at pixilated penetration and blowjobs for ten minutes Kiki pulls out and leaves an non-pixilated load on Kana’s stomach.  Everyone regroups and gets ready for the next scene where things start going south for poor ol’ Kana.  The filmmakers start in with the dildos and the lubed up buttholes then the hot wax, boob bondage, and enemas.  Kana doesn’t seem like she is a big fan of any of this (unless she’s like every other woman in my life and is faking her fear and pain) so she tries to make an escape during a break between scenes.  The cameraman, or woman with a mustache, followers Kana and gives her a whack on the head and drags her back to the bed.

For the rest of the movie everyone has a lot of fun torturing the hell out of Kana in the form of chopping off limbs, while Kiku is humping away at her, and cutting apart her tongue.  During these scenes I wish I had some subtitles because I can’t tell if Kiku is in on the whole thing or if he’s just wigged out and going along with the insane torture to save his own ass.  Oh wait, he does help cut off one of her legs and when the filmmakers cut open Kana’s chest Kiku starts inserting his pixilated wiener into her thoracic cavity. That answers that.  But unbeknownst to Kiku, his diligence is not rewarded because the filmmakers kill him too, then bury a giant blade into Kana’s face ending the movie.

TUMBLING DOLL OF FLESH was an entertaining watch.  It’s a slow build with a lot of pixilated sex scenes but the payoff is worth it when the madness starts.  I would like to see the movie with subtitles so I can get a better feel for the characters to make me care for them less while they’re being brutally murdered.  Now I’m going to go draw a warm bath and listen to Landslide by Fleetwood Mac on repeat to cleanse myself of that somewhat disturbing movie.

Blake and Jimmy’s Extreme-O-Gauge!

Realistic Gore:  3 out of 5, disturbing but a little too fake.

Rape:  2 out of 5, they are in a porn, but Kana being drugged up and having her limbs cut off during some sex scenes can’t be consensual. 

Animal Death: 0 out of 0.

Necrophilia:  0 out of 0, I don’t think Kana was dead for any penetration.

Torture:  4 out of 5, I consider what Kana went through torture.  Especially the hot wax on her bottom!
Overall Movie:  3 out of 5, It was good but I'm not doing back flips over it.

COLD FISH

COLD FISH

  

by: Senor Woo

A quiet couple and their teenage daughter live a seemingly quiet life. That is until the daughter gets caught shoplifting. A nice old fish store owner offers to have the daughter come work for him to teach her responsibility and worth ethic. The fish shop owner also befriends the girl’s father and becomes his mentor. Unfortunately for the poor shlum dad, he is not just teaching him how to be a man and succeed in life, but how to murder, dismember, and properly dispose of a human body.

I decided to watch this movie after reading the summary that started out by saying “a gory serial killer movie…” SOLD! Well, I had no idea that it was two and a half hour long Japanese movie. This is more than just a horror movie though. It is a character study of a man who is not respected by his wife, daughter, or anyone in his community. He is shy, and a pushover. He finds himself being mentored by a loud mouthed, know it all fish shop owner. By the end of the movie, he is transformed into a bad ass that doesn’t take shit from anyone and demands respect from his family. But at what extremes did he have to endure to get to this point? Well, a lot of rape, murder, dismemberment, and torture to name just a few.

COLD FISH is a crazy roller coaster of a movie that only the Japanese can pull off. It starts off as a real slow burner. It’s not boring by any means, because it really develops the characters, which makes all the crazy shit that happens later in the movie more potent. The violence is abundant and graphic, and there is enough sex and nudity throughout to satisfy all you horn dogs. There were some major plot twists that came out of nowhere that I really dug. I won’t spoil those here though.

The more I think about this movie the more I like it. Sure it was slow in parts, but it was to serve the movie. And just when I thought I knew what direction the movie was heading, it threw a nasty curve ball at me. Check this movie out, but make sure you bring your attention span with you. 

MEATBALL MACHINE

By Blake Redding

*WARNING*

All movies reviewed for SUNDAY SNUFF contain graphic depictions that may include rape, live animals being murdered, and extreme gore.  None of the writers condone such acts we just watch this shit.

MEATBALL MACHINE is a low budget Japanese sci-fi/horror movie from directors Yudai Yamaguchi and Junichi Yamamoto. Believe it or not, this is actually a remake of a 1999 film of the same name. This movie can be lumped in the same category as other Japanese gore flicks such as TOKYO GORE POLICE and MACHINE GIRL That should give you a pretty good idea on what you are in for when you watch MEATBALL MACHINE.

 Lonely factory worker Muraishi has the hots for his cute female co-worker Sachiko. While walking home from work one night, Muraishi comes across a strange looking foreign object that kind of resembles a turtle shell. His curiosity gets the best of him and he scoops it up. Oh, I also forgot to mention that before finding the strange object, Muraishi gets the shit kicked out of him by a transvestite after he refused his advances. Yeah, it’s that kind of movie. After the pummeling and alien object gathering, Muraishi just so happens to walk up on Sachiko being sexually assaulted. Being the stand up guy that he is, Muraishi rushes to her aid and gets his ass kicked again, but at least Sachiko didn’t get raped. He walks her to his apartment where they can nurse their wounds together and engage in WAY too much conversation for this kind of movie. While they both sit around the apartment looking pathetic, the alien turtle shell thingy fires out some tentacles and attacks Sachiko. It drills out her eyes and penetrates her with one of the tentacles, impregnating her with an alien life form. The alien grows and eventually takes over Sachiko’s body, turning her into a cyborg alien hybrid. In order to save her, Muraishi has to become a cyborg as well. The aliens inside them decide it’s time to do battle with their human hosts. They form all kinds of organic weapons and battle it out in blood and gore greatness. During the intense battle, they try to break the alien hold on their bodies by being super emotional and caring for each other, all while firing laser cannons and jizz guns at each other. The movie ends with the two aliens having a conversation about the depths of human emotions and how they will never be able to truly ‘control’ them. Great heartfelt message I guess.

This is the kind of movie that you would expect Quentin Tarantino to plaster his name all over. It is completely over the top and overly gory on purpose.  It reminds me of an episode of The Power Rangers on acid. The production is low and the costumes are just ridiculous. Most of the gore happens during the cyborg/alien battle. Lots of cut off limbs and blood spray. The most cringe-inducing scene has to be when Sachiko’s eyes get drilled out. There was no cut away, which was pretty cool. There is definitely enough blood and gore to go around.  I have always been a fan of the over the top splatter gore Japanese movies, but MEATBALL MACHINE fell a little flat for me. It spent a little too much time on the relationship between Muraishi and Sachiko, which really hurt the pacing of the movie. I had to wait too long in between the action scenes. This gore hound wants blood!

MEATBALL MACHINE is a cartoony, bloody, and comedic way to kill 90 minutes. It’s not a bad watch, but if you want to watch a solid Japanese gore flick, I would recommend MACHINE GIRL. We will post a review of that movie here in the very near future kids!

Blake and Jimmy's Extreme-O-Gauge 

Realistic Gore: 4 out of 5, Cartoony but abundant!

Rape: 2 out of 5, Implied alien rape, not very graphic though, don’t worry. 

Animal Death:  0 out of 0, Nope, not today.

Necrophilia:  0 out of 0, None

Torture: 3 out of 5, The cyborg transformations seemed pretty painful

Overall Movie: 3 out of 5, Not bad, but like I said, I would recommend MACHINE GIRL instead.

Dream Home

DREAM HOME

By Blake Redding

It’s no big secret that the vast continent of Asia has lent the horror genre some of the most extreme movies known to man.  But in the 2000’s after the success of RINGU and the American remake THE RING, the market got flooded with watered down, rehashed ghost stories to capitalize on a the craze.  So the avid horror and gore enthusiast had to once again go hunting through the shit to find the gems.  One of these gems is the 2010 horror flick from Hong Kong, DREAM HOME.  Like the taboo raping epic AUDITION, DREAM HOME is a solid story with insane gore and violence that really sets the bar high for other contemporary Asian releases and it confirms yet again that there is really nothing too taboo or ‘over the line’ for some of these tiny directors. Let’s get to it you filthy animals.

DREAM HOME is about a young woman who will do ANYTHING to secure the perfect flat in the cutthroat housing crisis in Hong Kong. It has everything she could ever want and it is a killer deal, unfortunately, the deal falls through and the current owners decide to keep it. Well, it’s a good thing she is a psychopath or she might have been up a fog covered Chinese creek without a bamboo paddle.  She hacks and slashes her way through the current residents in the high rise and their loved ones. Shit gets messy real quick….

Right off the bat we are treated to a man with a zip tie secured tightly around his neck. His captor gives him one option to free himself, an exacto knife. The tie is so tight that he has no choice but to tear into his neck meat in order to free himself. It’s a bloody mess and will make you get that special feeling in your jugular. This scene pretty much sets the tone for the gore that is going to be in this movie. Oh hey, there is a pregnant woman hanging out in the house she must be safe! Nope, she gets her goddamn head vacuumed sealed like a filet of Jian Carp (Asian fishin’ reference folks.)! When her husband comes home and finds her, he is beat with a golf club and his head is smashed on the coffee table.  It’s actually a very disturbing scene. After this, the blood just keeps on flowing.  We are treated to a guy with a broken glass bong stabbed through his neck while his buddy gets his guts knifed out. The chick they were trying to bang gets her head smashed into the toilet bowl. Sorry that foursome with three guys didn’t work out bro bros! This murderous gal even has the audacity to break in on a couple having sex and castrate the guy right in front of his lay. She doesn’t get to scream for long though, our heroin jams a 2x4 into her mouth and silences her for good.

If you are new to Sunday Snuff and looking for a good ‘starter movie’ into the extreme horror movie genre, this one is definitely not for you, or the faint of heart. It’s violent and gory as all hell. It is shot well and the story is actually quite good. Like many other Asian horror flicks, it jumps around a lot so multiple viewings make it that much better. If you are into the sadistic and the macabre like I am, go ahead and pick this bad boy up and enjoy the show.

Blake and Jimmy’s Extreme-O Gage!

Realistic Gore: 5 out of 5, VERY realistic looking violence and gore…..well played China.

Rape: 2 out of 5.  Some minor heaving petting on a passed out and topless drunk girl.

Animal Death: 0 out of 5.  I did see some dead ducks hanging up in the street market if that counts.

Necrophilia: 0 out of 5. So close, but the girl got killed minor seconds after sexy time.

Torture: 5 out of 5.  Having to cut into your own neck with a knife can’t be fun for anyone! Also being suffocated to death with a vacuum seal isn’t the ideal way to die.
Overall Movie: 4 out of 5, this is a great movie, but there are parts that lag.  Definitely worth a few views!