Men Behind the Sun/Man Behind the Sun

By Jimmy Squarejaw

Japanese Unit 731 is one of those historical atrocities that seem almost too insane to be real.  Reminiscent of the horrifying human experimentation at Auschwitz performed by Joseph Mengele, the crimes against humanity committed at Unit 731 are enough to make you squirm at night and be thankful to not be anywhere near the Pinfang district of Harbin, in the largest Japanese puppet state of Manchukuo during the Sino-Japanese War and World War II.  Whatever the fuck that means but thanks Wikipedia.  There are a few flicks about Unit 731 out there in movie land, the first being T.F. Mous’ Chinese exploitation flick MEN BEHIND THE SUN.

MEN BEHIND THE SUN did not make me tingle when I first popped it in the ol’ DVD player.  The production looked cheap, the dubbing was TERRIBLE (worse than that Martian-faced mutant Nikki Minaj trying to lip-synch live), and the Chinese writing on the screen during different scenes did not have subtitles so I felt like I was missing some possible points of reference or at least in the dark about the locations of scenes. 

The story follows a group of kids who are brought into Unit 731 to train under the Japanese Army.  They are subjected to consistent beating and will breaking by Lt. General Shiro Ishii, as well as other ranking officials that I never found the names for.  We also follow along the story of Lt. General Ishii as he tries to create a new bomb that can spread bubonic plague carrying fleas. After mingling with some naked female servants and getting really pissed he throws a ceramic pot that explodes all over the place inadvertently leading to inspire his “greatest idea.” Lt. General Ishii unveils to his solders the plans for a low temperature ceramic bomb that can spread the fleas without killing them in the process. Hurrah!  

There are plenty of horrific gore scenes in MEN BEHIND THE SUN covering executions, torture, and creepy human science experiments.  Numerous splayed open cadavers that were evidently operated on while still living, it’s called vivisection kids, are displayed throughout the film.  The movie also frequents the dank, hauntingly grim crematory run by a kooky old bastard who’s job consists of carting around bodies and body parts, stacking and propping up cadavers, and of course mass burning of said bodies and parts.  A really terrible scene, and from my understanding quite the controversial scene in it’s day, is the realistic looking autopsy scene on a naked lil’ local mute boy.  During the movie he becomes friends with the Japanese youth army and gets tricked into coming into an operating room full of giggling doctors in surgical garb.  After they strip the kid and bop his dick a few times, all while giggling, they lay him on a table, bop his dick again, and gas him to sleep.  While sleeping the crack pot team of doctors cut the kid open and remove his guts.  I gotta say I’m curious how the special effects were setup because someone did their homework and made this scene realistic.

MEN BEHIND THE SUN is rife with other torture scenes and war crime violence.  One notable scene where the doctors decide to kill a guy with sound decibels leads to his ass prolapsing and blowing out across the chamber floor resembling a creature from John Carpenter’s THING.  For the animal lover, like me, there is a horrible scene where a cat gets thrown into a pen of rats and ripped apart.  I’m not sure how real the carnage was during this scene but the filmmaker’s brings it up a notch in a later scene when the entire room full of rats is set on fire-and this is very real and very hard to watch. There is A LOT of footage of the lil’ creatures scurrying everywhere squeaking with flames roiling off of them!

I would have never thought this flick was as crazy as it was off of my first impression.  After watching it I completely understand why it has such a crazy reputation.  I'm sure there are some historical inaccuracies and I encourage people to look into the real and completely fucking crazy accounts of Unit 731.  Truth really is stranger than fiction, and in this case it's a lot more disturbing.

Blake and Jimmy’s Extreme-O-Gauge!

Gore: 4 out of 5, there’s a lot of fodder for the gore whore.

Rape: 0 out of 0, few close calls but no.

Animal Death: 5 out of 5, I think the cat lived but those poor little rats…….sad!

Necrophilia: 0 out of 0, not here.

Torture: 5 out of 5, this movie is based around the torture of thousands of people.

Overall Movie: 4 out of 5, a unexpectedly good watch.

Kidnapped (2010)

By Senor Woo

The home invasion sub genre has really come to the forefront of horror in the last five years or so. Zombies and undead super killers are most likely not going to become a reality, making those movies a good disconnected watch, no matter how grounded in reality they try to be. But a group on dudes breaking into your house and wanting to get all rapey with your wife and steal your shit?! That kind of crime happens every day and quite frankly, that is what true horror is all about.

KIDNAPPED is a little sleeper from Spain that I honestly I had never heard of. I ran into it cruising through Netflix for the next piece of unknown depravity to watch while drinking my tall cans of cheep beer. It starts out like almost every other home invasion flick. It introduces you to a family in the middle of moving into a super nice new house, making it very obviou the dude has money. Mom, dad, and their hot to trot 18 year old rebellious daughter are ready to start their lives in the new digs. Before they can get all cozy, three masked and armed dudes smash through a window and start terrorizing the family. All of the guys have a role; there is the leader, the psychopath, and the guy who doesn’t want to hurt anyone and often gets mad when the other bros lay hands on the family. The leader collects all their bank and credit cards and makes dad drive him to an ATM to empty out the accounts, leaving the wife and daughter behind for insurance. It’s only a matter of time before the psychopath does too much cocaine and starts getting rape on the brain. With mom tied up, he takes the daughter upstairs and goes to pound town on her. Not long after, Mr. Sensitive robber runs up and tackles him off the girl and they start fighting. The dude probably still had a boner so that must have been weird. With the guys Greco Roman wrestling, the daughter gets up and starts wandering around the house in a state of trauma and shock (she should have b lined for the door, idiot) but is soon caught again by psychopath McRapey, but this time she gets the best of him by smashing him in the head with some sort of stone sculpture. She continues smashing in his face and the camera stays on him the whole time. It’s super brutal and reminded me of the fire extinguisher scene in IRREVERSABLE. This kill sets the tone for the rest of the movie. Up until this point, it was just another home invasion movie. Instead of going with the ‘safe’ ending like most American horror movies do (except for THE STRANGERS,)   KIDNAPPERS gets all kinds of crazy! I don’t want to ruin the end so I’ll be vague, but the reason this movie made it on to Sunday Snuff was because of the reality and brutality of the violence. Shit looked like it was really happening, with spot on practical effects. It’s a goddamn bloodbath. Let’s just say when the leader gets back and sees what went down in his absence, he’s fucking pissed and expresses his distaste with violence. Brutal gunshot wounds, a slit throat, and a stabbing that comes out of nowhere and blew my dick off! I’ll say it again, brutal, brutal violence!

The only complaint I have is not with the movie itself, but with the English dubbing. I could tell the actors were doing and AMAZING job, but the voice over actors were only half assing it. I always watch foreign movies with subtitles with the original audio track, no matter what language it’s in. I’m sure that option is on the DVD but Netflix didn’t have it. Oh well, I will definitely be re watching with subtitles once I purchase this fine flick.

Blake and Jimmy's Extreme-O-Gauge!

Gore/Violence: 5 out of 5, Yes...hell yes!

Rape: 3 out of 5, not the most graphic but still disturbing.
Animal Death:  0 out of 0, go watch CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST you sick fucks!
Torture: 4 out of 5, this family is put through hell!
Overall Movie:  4 out of 5, it didn't reinvent the home invasion wheel, but it had enough twists and turns to be unique.  I highly recommend it.

The Barbarian Girls

By Jimmy Squarejaw

A mysterious car drives along a country road and releases a buxom blonde into an open field.  A girl who looks like if the red haired Wendy’s mascot, Wendy, fucked a member of the Mars Volta and had a baby, runs up to the stunned girl.  But no she isn’t there to save her, she’s there to tie her up in a barn and torture her. 

The 13 minute 70's torture porn THE BARBARIAN GIRLS starts off exactly like that and we never even figure out why the hell a car drops off the girl in the first place!  The red headed gal begins with a little rough talk and boob squeezing but that isn’t getting her point across so she hops on top of the blonde and pisses on her!  Take that!  Wendy Rodriguez (a Mars Volta joke) then hoists up the scared blonde from one of the rafters and proceeds to whip the shit out of her fronts and her backs!  Yow, that will need some iodine, but we should wait to administer first aid until the end because now there’s a knife involved. 

And that knife gets jammed up into the blonde’s Vah-HEE-nah with as much fortitude as Rosey the Riveter flexing her lesbian bicep.  A few in’s and a few outs, a clockwise and counter clockwise motion and then the poor girl’s Vah-HEE-nah starts to prolapse.  This is why we need to incorporate kegel exercises into the physical education programs in public school systems!  The blonde is almost good and dead until a final gutting ensues and that seals the deal.  It’s quite the little short.

Blake and Jimmy’s Extreme-O-Gauge!

Realistic Gore: 3 out of 5, for the timeframe and budget of this movie I must say well done!

Rape: Either a 0 out of 0, or a 5 out of 5. Depends how you look at it.

Animal Death: 0 out of 0, not here folks.

Necrophilia: 0 out of 0, Death is the end in this one.

Torture: 5 out of 5, having a blade jam into the protein folds of a vagina is pretty bad I bet.

Overall Movie: 2 out of 5, quick, easy, gory porn movie.

Guzoo!

By Jimmy Squarejaw

All kinds of hell awaits a group of bubbly Japanese girls when they enter a building that I’m pretty sure is either a relative’s home or a vacation house.  The version of GUZOO I have is in Japanese and doesn’t have subtitles so I, again, try to do my best to review a movie I can’t understand!  Thankfully GUZOO was a short flick and the plot was about as easy to follow as the instructions on a mailbox.

GUZOO starts with a slow sprawling shot of the disgusting, leaking, undulating skin of a slobbering creature.  After we get a sense that this is an insanely dangerous creature and is absolutely horrible to watch, we then meet the group of bubbly Japanese girls that will no doubt get horribly accosted, raped, absorbed, mutilated or whatever the hell else could possibly happen by the creature we just observed.   They’re out and about on a sunny day having some fun playing a game similar to Go Fish.  Once one of them cheats and wins the game they head off to a nice looking white house that sits on a river.  At the front door a plain looking lady with no emotion greets them and lets them in giving me no clue what anyone’s relationship is to one another.  Once inside the group of girls are shown to a room on the top floor complete with the cutest lil’ beds I’ve ever seen.  Again I stress I can’t understand anything said so I am going on purely images and noises. 

One of the gals looks out the bedroom window while the other girls unpack and her eye catches the pond below, but before she could let the beauty of the pond sink in, a fish that I could only relate to looking like it grew up in radioactive mud lunges out of the pond at her and flies up two floors.  Was this a DREAM?  I don’t know, but she gets a little shaken from whatever happened and takes a stroll through the house to unwind.  Well, aint’ it a shame she walks in front of a mirror that GUZOO happens to be lurking behind and bursts out to lick her face and snarl. After she freaks out the other girls get her to bed than think it’s totally cool if they went on a bike ride while the victim calms down.  The girls split to have a blast  and with the house empty the relaxing girl gets up and wanders in front of the mirror again. GUZOO is waiting and GUZOO freaks this time and lunges out of the mirror, but she doesn’t luck out with a tongue lick, she gets completely ripped apart and eaten by GUZOO.  And here friends, is when this movie takes off!

The rest of the movie is a great, fast paced cavalcade of people being used like sheep-skin prophylactics by a blood thirsty oozing mutant that looks like a sandworm from BEETLEJUICE mixed with a nuclear bedbug.  Although nothing is really ever explained to me, I still enjoyed this flick a lot and I think fans of ABOMINATION and John Carpenter’s THE THING would like this Japanese entry into the creature feature foray. 

Blake and Jimmy’s Extreme-O-Gauge!

Realistic Gore: 4 out of 5, for a low budget they made the most of what they had and it was great!

Rape: 0 out of 0

Animal Death: 0 out of 0

Necrophilia: 0 out of 0

Torture: 2 out of 5, the creature feasts last awhile and the victims are not too fond of that.

Overall Movie: 4 out of 5, great flick.

Tumbling Doll of Flesh

By Jimmy Squarejaw

Now let us take you on an incredible journey, across the Pacific Ocean to Japan, the land of the rising sun.  After watching this movie I think I’ll be calling it the land of the rising FUN because TUMBLING DOLL OF FLESH was just a fun lil’ flick written and directed by kookster Tamakichi Anaru.  So pop open a bag of Cheetos, crack a 2-liter of Mountain Dew, and take this one in.

TUMBLING DOLL OF FLESH, or Niku Daruma in Kanji, is about a couple young ambitious filmmakers wanting to make a new porno.  They find their stars in the likes of a dog faced lady named Kana and a man named Kiku who wears really big white underwear.  They both get interviewed on camera in a "get to know you" fun little session before they’re whisked away to a porn set that looks like an attic apartment I used to live in, minus the Taco Bell and Chewy Chips-A-Hoy wrappers. 

The sexin’ for the time being is standard sexin’ with all of the groin areas pixilated because that’s what they do in Japan. So after staring at pixilated penetration and blowjobs for ten minutes Kiki pulls out and leaves an non-pixilated load on Kana’s stomach.  Everyone regroups and gets ready for the next scene where things start going south for poor ol’ Kana.  The filmmakers start in with the dildos and the lubed up buttholes then the hot wax, boob bondage, and enemas.  Kana doesn’t seem like she is a big fan of any of this (unless she’s like every other woman in my life and is faking her fear and pain) so she tries to make an escape during a break between scenes.  The cameraman, or woman with a mustache, followers Kana and gives her a whack on the head and drags her back to the bed.

For the rest of the movie everyone has a lot of fun torturing the hell out of Kana in the form of chopping off limbs, while Kiku is humping away at her, and cutting apart her tongue.  During these scenes I wish I had some subtitles because I can’t tell if Kiku is in on the whole thing or if he’s just wigged out and going along with the insane torture to save his own ass.  Oh wait, he does help cut off one of her legs and when the filmmakers cut open Kana’s chest Kiku starts inserting his pixilated wiener into her thoracic cavity. That answers that.  But unbeknownst to Kiku, his diligence is not rewarded because the filmmakers kill him too, then bury a giant blade into Kana’s face ending the movie.

TUMBLING DOLL OF FLESH was an entertaining watch.  It’s a slow build with a lot of pixilated sex scenes but the payoff is worth it when the madness starts.  I would like to see the movie with subtitles so I can get a better feel for the characters to make me care for them less while they’re being brutally murdered.  Now I’m going to go draw a warm bath and listen to Landslide by Fleetwood Mac on repeat to cleanse myself of that somewhat disturbing movie.

Blake and Jimmy’s Extreme-O-Gauge!

Realistic Gore:  3 out of 5, disturbing but a little too fake.

Rape:  2 out of 5, they are in a porn, but Kana being drugged up and having her limbs cut off during some sex scenes can’t be consensual. 

Animal Death: 0 out of 0.

Necrophilia:  0 out of 0, I don’t think Kana was dead for any penetration.

Torture:  4 out of 5, I consider what Kana went through torture.  Especially the hot wax on her bottom!
Overall Movie:  3 out of 5, It was good but I'm not doing back flips over it.

COLD FISH

COLD FISH

  

by: Senor Woo

A quiet couple and their teenage daughter live a seemingly quiet life. That is until the daughter gets caught shoplifting. A nice old fish store owner offers to have the daughter come work for him to teach her responsibility and worth ethic. The fish shop owner also befriends the girl’s father and becomes his mentor. Unfortunately for the poor shlum dad, he is not just teaching him how to be a man and succeed in life, but how to murder, dismember, and properly dispose of a human body.

I decided to watch this movie after reading the summary that started out by saying “a gory serial killer movie…” SOLD! Well, I had no idea that it was two and a half hour long Japanese movie. This is more than just a horror movie though. It is a character study of a man who is not respected by his wife, daughter, or anyone in his community. He is shy, and a pushover. He finds himself being mentored by a loud mouthed, know it all fish shop owner. By the end of the movie, he is transformed into a bad ass that doesn’t take shit from anyone and demands respect from his family. But at what extremes did he have to endure to get to this point? Well, a lot of rape, murder, dismemberment, and torture to name just a few.

COLD FISH is a crazy roller coaster of a movie that only the Japanese can pull off. It starts off as a real slow burner. It’s not boring by any means, because it really develops the characters, which makes all the crazy shit that happens later in the movie more potent. The violence is abundant and graphic, and there is enough sex and nudity throughout to satisfy all you horn dogs. There were some major plot twists that came out of nowhere that I really dug. I won’t spoil those here though.

The more I think about this movie the more I like it. Sure it was slow in parts, but it was to serve the movie. And just when I thought I knew what direction the movie was heading, it threw a nasty curve ball at me. Check this movie out, but make sure you bring your attention span with you. 

AFTERMATH

By Jimmy Squarejaw

*WARNING*

All movies reviewed for SUNDAY SNUFF contain graphic depictions that may include rape, live animals being murdered, and extreme gore.  None of the writers condone such acts we just watch this shit. 

Oh the lonely, how they yearn for a companion, living their lives in solitude, engrossed in their careers, and relying on their animal companions for entertainment. It's no wonder why they take the opportunity to molest a cadaver when no one is looking. Well, at least this fuckin’ nutbag did!

AFTERMATH, the second installment in a death trilogy by Spanish Director Nacho Cerda begins with two coroners putting in an honest day’s work. One of the two clocks out for the night, leaving the other one (notably more malicious looking) alone in the pathology room. Well not necessarily alone. He has the mangled corpse of a woman lying on his exam table who has that certain kinda look in her eye……..I guess. Given the opportunity, the lonely pathologist basically mangles and rapes the cadaver for the rest of the movie, capping it all off with cutting her heart out for later. The overall message being  do we have any control of the people who look after us when we're dead.

I’ve heard a lot about this trilogy of movies about birth, death, and re-birth; AWAKENING, AFTERMATH, and GENESIS. The first and last were not the most entertaining watch and they all really have nothing to do with each other so I’ll skip yapping about those. However AFTERMATH is a pretty intense watch. It’s gross and disturbing and the filmmaker really doesn’t hold back on the visual aspect of gettin’ down with a dead chick. The one criticism I have is during one scene it is SO apparent that the cadaver is a rubber figure it’s distracting and takes away from the whole movie. From a far she's very convincing as a disfigured car accident victim, but a close up shows the pathologist running his finger down her nose and her whole heads starts wobbling from it. Other than that AFTERMATH was a nice little disturbing flick and we haven't brought any quality necrophilia to the table, but there is plenty out there!

Blake and Jimmy's Extreme-O-Gauge

Realistic Gore:  2 out of 5, good until parts started to bounce

Rape: 2 out of 5, it was only one and she was dead!

Animal Death: 0 out of 0

Necrophilia 4 out of 5, yeah that's pretty much the whole movie, but the movie was short.

Torture: 0 out of 0, the pathologist said she loved it!

Overall Movie: 3 out of 5, it was a good watch but could have been longer.



MEATBALL MACHINE

By Blake Redding

*WARNING*

All movies reviewed for SUNDAY SNUFF contain graphic depictions that may include rape, live animals being murdered, and extreme gore.  None of the writers condone such acts we just watch this shit.

MEATBALL MACHINE is a low budget Japanese sci-fi/horror movie from directors Yudai Yamaguchi and Junichi Yamamoto. Believe it or not, this is actually a remake of a 1999 film of the same name. This movie can be lumped in the same category as other Japanese gore flicks such as TOKYO GORE POLICE and MACHINE GIRL That should give you a pretty good idea on what you are in for when you watch MEATBALL MACHINE.

 Lonely factory worker Muraishi has the hots for his cute female co-worker Sachiko. While walking home from work one night, Muraishi comes across a strange looking foreign object that kind of resembles a turtle shell. His curiosity gets the best of him and he scoops it up. Oh, I also forgot to mention that before finding the strange object, Muraishi gets the shit kicked out of him by a transvestite after he refused his advances. Yeah, it’s that kind of movie. After the pummeling and alien object gathering, Muraishi just so happens to walk up on Sachiko being sexually assaulted. Being the stand up guy that he is, Muraishi rushes to her aid and gets his ass kicked again, but at least Sachiko didn’t get raped. He walks her to his apartment where they can nurse their wounds together and engage in WAY too much conversation for this kind of movie. While they both sit around the apartment looking pathetic, the alien turtle shell thingy fires out some tentacles and attacks Sachiko. It drills out her eyes and penetrates her with one of the tentacles, impregnating her with an alien life form. The alien grows and eventually takes over Sachiko’s body, turning her into a cyborg alien hybrid. In order to save her, Muraishi has to become a cyborg as well. The aliens inside them decide it’s time to do battle with their human hosts. They form all kinds of organic weapons and battle it out in blood and gore greatness. During the intense battle, they try to break the alien hold on their bodies by being super emotional and caring for each other, all while firing laser cannons and jizz guns at each other. The movie ends with the two aliens having a conversation about the depths of human emotions and how they will never be able to truly ‘control’ them. Great heartfelt message I guess.

This is the kind of movie that you would expect Quentin Tarantino to plaster his name all over. It is completely over the top and overly gory on purpose.  It reminds me of an episode of The Power Rangers on acid. The production is low and the costumes are just ridiculous. Most of the gore happens during the cyborg/alien battle. Lots of cut off limbs and blood spray. The most cringe-inducing scene has to be when Sachiko’s eyes get drilled out. There was no cut away, which was pretty cool. There is definitely enough blood and gore to go around.  I have always been a fan of the over the top splatter gore Japanese movies, but MEATBALL MACHINE fell a little flat for me. It spent a little too much time on the relationship between Muraishi and Sachiko, which really hurt the pacing of the movie. I had to wait too long in between the action scenes. This gore hound wants blood!

MEATBALL MACHINE is a cartoony, bloody, and comedic way to kill 90 minutes. It’s not a bad watch, but if you want to watch a solid Japanese gore flick, I would recommend MACHINE GIRL. We will post a review of that movie here in the very near future kids!

Blake and Jimmy's Extreme-O-Gauge 

Realistic Gore: 4 out of 5, Cartoony but abundant!

Rape: 2 out of 5, Implied alien rape, not very graphic though, don’t worry. 

Animal Death:  0 out of 0, Nope, not today.

Necrophilia:  0 out of 0, None

Torture: 3 out of 5, The cyborg transformations seemed pretty painful

Overall Movie: 3 out of 5, Not bad, but like I said, I would recommend MACHINE GIRL instead.

100 Tears

By Blake Redding

*WARNING*

All movies reviewed for SUNDAY SNUFF contain graphic depictions that may include rape, live animals being murdered, and extreme gore.  None of the writers condone such acts we just watch this shit. 

This little gem has been on my radar for a while now, Amazon was always suggesting it to me, and it seemed to be on everyone’s “most disturbing movies” lists.  The cover depicts a demented looking clown carrying the biggest meat cleaver I have ever seen. SOLD! Lucky for me, this bad boy just so happens to be streaming on Netflix and the better half is at work. I have read multiple reviews and the consensus was pretty mixed, mostly leaning on the shitty side. One thing that all the reviews had in common was that the movie was excessively gory, again…SOLD!! Crack a tall can grab the hollowed out light bulb and let’s get into it.

The plot is as basic as they come with a twist that I saw coming a mile away.  Two reporters are investigating a local serial killer known as the ‘Tear Drop Killer.’ His MO is drawing a teardrop of blood on the wall after killing his victim. The reporters soon discover that the killer is a clown in the local circus. Throw in detectives who are so fuckin’ stupid they couldn’t catch the Sticky Bandits in HOME ALONE and you have the premise for 100 TEARS.

This flick may have one of the highest body counts I have ever seen. According to the Sticky Red blog, there are over 34 kills in the 92-minute run time, and every single one is unique and bloody as hell. The clown carries around that monster cleaver and kills people in every way imaginable with it including chopping off heads and limbs and a lot of guttings with realistic looking entrails flying everywhere.  They may have just been some sausage ropes covered in fake blood, but it was pretty convincing. During the course of the movie, we discover that one of the clown’s potential victims is actually his long lost daughter, dun dun dun! She then joins him in his killing spree and her shining moment comes in the way of a scene where she rips into some guy’s stomach and chokes him to death with his own intestines, the Oscar is in the bag.

As you can tell the movie is packed full of people getting chopped in half and just straight up mangled by this clown. There had to have been gallons of fake blood used in this production. That monster cleaver chops up heads sideways and crossways and of course lops them off right at the neck.  And what killer would pass up stomping on peoples skulls as well, spilling their brains all over the floor. There are a couple groovy scenes of torture where girls are shackled to a rack and their limbs are chopped off while they are still alive and screaming just like real life. 100 TEAR’s plot is literally just molded around the kills and I thought that was pretty awesome.

Usually with this amount of gore and violence taking up a good percentage of the budget, there is not much money left for other key elements, such as casting and cinematography and that holds true for 100 TEARS. The acting and the script are just plain bad!  The clown does a good job as the menacing killer; he doesn’t say a word the whole movie and that works to his favor. The daughter on the other hand is super annoying and a horrible actress. Think Baby from HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES times a million.  I’m pretty sure most of the actors were just friends of the director and were doing him a favor. The lighting and over all look of the movie is pretty poor as well. I don’t’ think there was any post production done regarding the visual aspects of the movie. Most of the time it looked like it was recorded on an iPhone but all of my self recorded sex tapes looked better than this and this movie left me bonerless! How about the gore and effects you ask? They are actually pretty great. They are all practical and done with a good attention to detail. These guys set out to make a GORE movie and on that level, they are very successful.

100 TEARS was made for us gore fans. If they could have cut out all the plot and dialogue and just made a 30 minute kill reel, they probably would have made one of the best gore flicks ever. If you like your horror with substance and meaning, 100 TEARS is not for you. But if you just want to dull your senses and zone out with some gratuitous blood and violence, go ahead and give it a watch, you won’t be disappointed.  

Blake and Jimmy's Extreme-O-Gauge 

Realistic Gore: 5 out of 5, this flick was all about the gore!

Rape: 0 out of 5, that would be WAY out of their acting range.  

Animal Death:  0 out of 0, Nope, not today.

Necrophilia:  0 out of 0, only in his mind.

Torture: 4 out of 5, this clown is fucked up!

Overall Movie: 2 out of 5, it's great for the gore hounds, but that's about all it has going for it. 

Android of Notre Dame

THE ANDROID OF NOTRE DAME

By Jimmy Squarejaw

 

 

*WARNING*

All movies reviewed for SUNDAY SNUFF contain graphic depictions that may include rape, live animals being murdered, and extreme gore.  None of the writers condone such acts we just watch this shit. 

This week for SUNDAY SNUFF I decided to crack open the much sought after GUINEA PIG box set.  For those who are not familiar with these movies here’s a CliffsNotes history for you.  Back in the 1980’s and early 90’s a series of six insanely graphic films were made in Japan under the guise of producer Hideshi Hino.  From my understanding they were all underground midnight-type movies being that they were all filled with excessive gore and extreme violence.  Then comes along a Japanese serial killer by the name of Tsutomu Miyazaki. When Miyazaki was caught the Japanese authorities found one of these films in his collection and figured the killer modeled some of his killings on these movies so they were all banned in Japan. 

Now cut to 1991 at a party in Hollywood.  Charlie Sheen, probably under the influence of more than 7-Up and Saltines, watched one of these films after it was given to him by Chris Gore. (I’ve never heard of this guy but I assume he’s annoying if he hangs out with Charlie Sheen and has a fake name like that.)  After watching the film Sheen does the right thing and contacts the F.B.I. because he thought it was a real Snuff movie. 

The years following all of this negative hype saw the movies go pretty much extinct in any form of print.  I know there are two different box sets out there released in the early 2000’s containing all the films but even those are now out-of-print so good luck trying to find them. 

The first film I decided to review is one that I haven’t watched out of the set and one that doesn’t get a lot of written coverage, the fifth film in the series THE ANDROID OF NOTRE DAME.

The movie opens with a withered old man rambling about existence, life, and death.  If you don’t have brain damage it’s pretty clear that he is the aged version of the young dwarf scientist we meet next toiling away in his dark lab full of all sorts of lab animals.  Like the other GUINEA PIG movies I’ve seen, this one follows the GUINEA PIG formula to a T: shot on video quality picture, terrible music, and film student directing skill but who gives a fuck because they’re awesome.  The dwarf scientist is trying to figure out a cure for his dying sister’s disease and is contacted by another scientist, Kato, who says he can send a young teenage “guinea pig” girl to experiment on for 3 Million Yen.  Naturally the dwarf scientist accepts and the very next day he has a dead, teenage girl shipped to him in a box, god bless Japan.  Unbeknownst to him though, Kato has accessed his lab notes from some Jurassic-era internet connection database and shows up at the dwarf scientist’s house to blackmail him further.  Quick to think on his little toes, the dwarf springs a trap that saws off Kato’s legs and enables him to make Kato the next guinea pig to experiment on.

The rest of the movie was really confusing for me and that doesn’t say much being that I can’t change a flat tire or figure out how to get rid of dandruff.  The dwarf takes Kato’s head, draws lines all over it like if Pinhead from HELLRAISER didn’t have pins, and connects it to a robotic arm.  After doing a few experiments the dwarf has Kato call his wife/science partner.  She shows up and doesn’t seem too upset that her husband was a decaying head and she also didn’t seem too upset when his robotic arm felt her tit then strangled her to death.  The dwarf then digs out her ribs and another unknown organ, says his sister will never die, she does, then he’s seen as the old withered man sitting in a giant wooden chair with the organ in his lap rambling about all sorts of shit. 

Now let’s cover why these movies are so crazy…..THE GORE!  Like the other films in the GUINEA PIG series, it appears that the entire budget gets sunk into the special effects because they are totally amazing and fun to watch!  In THE ANDROID OF NOTRE DAME the first guinea pig girl who shows up dead in a box gets a healthy dose of scientific intrigue by the dwarf scientist.  He hooks her tongue and ripped off ear up to an electrical contraption and covers her body with electrode pads.  Once he turns on the juice she starts blowing blood out of every hole imaginable and then her hand dislodges from her arm and sprays goopy blood all over the place.  Good start, but I think poor old Kato gets the brunt of horrifying death.  After a buzz saw cuts off his legs and his head separated, the dwarf scientist makes some room on a lab table and props up his head up on it.  With every experiment performed on Kato, more boils explode, more toxic liquid gets forced through his mouth, and more all around unpleasant things happen in the name of science.  Over time he even starts to rot and slough off decaying skin.

I highly recommend tracking down the GUINEA PIG movies if you are into gore gore and more gore.  Over time all six films and the SLAUGHTER SPECIAL will get covered on Sunday Snuff and they are all worthy of a spot on any gore hounds video shelf!  Amazingly enough a lot of people do not know what the hell these movies are so scan craigslist, used record and DVD stores, and even pawnshops.  I have found copies for sale at all of these for cheap!

Blake and Jimmy’s Extreme-O-Gauge!

Realistic Gore: 5 out of 5, gross and gross!  Not everything is realistic, but it’s all wonderful!

Rape: 0 out of 0, you’ll have to watch Dark Knight Rises for that.

Animal Death: 0 out of 5, not on these flicks.

Necrophilia: 0 out of 5, I thought we may get a little taste, but science got in the way!

Torture: 3 out of 5, Kato gets fucked with a lot by the dwarf scientist.
Overall Movie: 3 out of 5, it was all right. Not terrible, not amazing......meh.